The Fall of the Roman Empire Written by a Child

www.morguefile.com

Many books have been written about the fall of the Roman Empire, but here is a summary, written by my older daughter in about fourth grade (I discovered this while cleaning). Both girls are now in college. The younger one asked, "How did you keep a straight face when reading these?"  But I was glad they were learning real history, even if they expressed it in an unusual way.

Enjoy:

As the Roman Empire grew weaker and weaker, barbarians started atacking. The barbarians were very rough people and no one really liked them. There emporers dauter was board with life and wanted to do something new. So she decided to marry a barbarian, Atilla the Hun. Atilla thought this is a great way to invad Rome. The Romans were so desprate that they paid Atilla money to go away. But on the way back he died of a nosebleed. The Romans even killed the leader of the army just because he couldn't defeat the barbarians. The emporer was getting scard. He was so scard he packed up all his things and moved to a small swampy town. Meanwhile Rome was being distroyed by a barbarian trib called the vandals. Then Rome totaly fell apart. A barbarian called Orestes chased the emporer away and remaining Romans were being ruled by scatered barbarian kings.

Collective Nouns for Animals, Especially Birds

You can call this a "murder of  crows"
or a "storytelling of crows.
Photo from  http://www.morguefile.com

Collective nouns for animals have always intrigued me.  This website gives some common collective names for animals, and this one gives some extremely creative (but often little known) collective names for birds. Here are some random observations from the lists.

Otters can be called a raft or a romp.  I particularly like romp because of the way otters love to play.

You can have an ascension of larks or an exaltation of larks.  I wonder why their collective noun sounds like something heavenly.

Both finches and hummingbirds can be called a charm when in a group.  I do find both birds charming, though some may disagree.

Crows can be called a murder or a storytelling.  Perhaps it depends on your perception of these animals.  Starlings are called a murmuration.  Personally, I think murder applies to starlings more.

A destruction of cats is supposed to only be used for wildcats.  But anyone who has seen a domestic cat with a roll of toilet paper would apply it to domestic cats as well.

A lounge of lizards brings forth an image of lizards lying around drinking beer and smoking cigars.

A rhumba of rattlesnakes. Really? (Now I’m always going to be picturing dancing rattlesnakes.  I guess it minimizes the fright factor.)

A building of rooks doesn’t make sense, but somehow it still fits.

When I read “a deceit of lapwings” I had to look it up.  I found that a lapwing is a wading bird of the plover family found nearly everywhere but North America. (No wonder I hadn’t heard of it.) This website says the name comes from the fact that lapwings often present themselves as an easy prey to distract predators from their young. (The website even has a poem about lapwings.)

There's more:  According to this website, a group of ptarmigan is called an invisibleness.  My friend Helen Hegener, a writer who lives in Alaska, says ptarmigan are excellent at camouflage:  "Quite literally invisible when they want to be."  (Click here for more information on Helen's writing.)

Random Sentence Generator: I CAN write free verse poetry after all

I've never been good at free verse poetry, but I think I've discovered a way to write some. Just use a random sentence generator. My husband discovered one at this link:

http://watchout4snakes.com/CreativityTools/RandomSentence/RandomSentence.aspx

I present my first free verse poem:

The emergency literature shuts the teapot inside the more vinyl.
Why does the romance stare over the legal paranoia?
A weapon complains in the extraneous bedroom.

The convincing lunchtime advances in the virgin stereo.
The textual article salts each absent upstairs.
The large helicopter tunnels the infamous skin.
The most frog bounces another insecure ash.

A freeze complains before the crystal.
Should the dirt insult a north?
A competent mill relaxes. A razor kids.
His blessed assumes the diverse skull within the domestic.

The despair chops its delayed lawyer past an arc.

END OF POEM
So what do you think?  Why not give it a try?  Use the random sentence generator link above.  You are allowed to delete sentences if you wish, but you can't change the sentences in any way.  I suppose you can rearrange the order of the sentences, though I didn't.

Then share your poem as a comment.

Early Summer is Mulberry Season

Eating mulberries is one of my favorite summer memories. My brother and I knew where all the mulberry trees were in our neighborhood, and every June we’d make the rounds, collecting the sweet, juicy fruits. I’m not sure what we did with the berries we collected. I do remember putting them on ice cream. Perhaps that’s because most of them ended up in our mouths instead of in the bowl.

I’ve passed on the love of mulberries to our children. While most people “diss” mulberry trees because they don’t like the purple stains from the berries, we actually planted a tree in our yard. Eating the first mulberry is the sign of summer in our house.

We still eat many of the berries straight off the tree, but we also manage to save some for future use. Mulberries freeze easily in little baggies and add a sweet taste and appealing color to fruit smoothies (simply mix nonfat yogurt and fruit in the blender to make a smoothie).

We also love the taste of freezer jam made with mulberries. Freezer jam is easy to make and preserves the freshly-picked flavor much better than canning. Just buy a box of pectin, lots of sugar, and follow the enclosed directions for raspberry freezer jam .

I love mulberries so much that I even wrote a couple of articles about them. You can see them here:

Collecting, Preserving, Using, Planting and Growing Mulberries

Mulberry Recipes for Jam, Syrup, Fruit Smoothie & Whip

What about you? Do you love or disdain mulberries? What are your favorite mulberry memories? Feel free to leave a comment.

Our Family Thanksgiving

We spent Thanksgiving at my sister's house. I love the way our family all gets together. In addition to her family and our mother, we had my mother-in-law, my sister's parents-in-law and brother-in-law. The afternoon included traditional Thanksgiving food, a walk through a surprisingly "wild" area in the middle of the city, a rousing game of Taboo, and viewing the space station and shuttle passing overhead.

For pictures, click here.

From Kooser to Buser: Famous People I've Met

Throughout the past year, I've met several famous people - famous to me, at least. It occurred to me that the first person I met was named Kooser and the last one I met was named Buser. Hopefully the fact that the two names rhyme is NOT a sign that my "streak" is over.

Click here to see the photos.

Johan's Visit

My husband's nephew from Sweden came to visit us. We'd never met him before, so it was a special treat to get to know him and show him the sights. We hit the Farmer's Market, Runza, the state capitol, saline wetlands, Sunken Gardens, East Campus, Nine Mile Prairie, a random farm and the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo. We also fixed him some good old Nebraska barbecue, complete with corn on the cob that we bought from the back of a truck, we took him to church, and we met some friends for dinner at Skeeter Barnes, followed by dessert at their house, with group games and much laughter. Although Johan's English was excellent, he didn't understand our idioms, which made some of the games even more interesting.

Here are some pictures from his visit:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=109299&id=629661480&l=19dc003492

Our Church's Tea and Fashion Show

Our church had a new tradition: a spring tea for the ladies. This year we added a fashion show. I hosted a table, pictured here. I used the china I inherited from my grandparents and decorated it with pottery my girls had made.

Believe it or not, I also modeled for the fashion show. The first category was "Fashion Favorites." My favorite outfit? Of course, it's my cap from Martin Buser's Happy Trails Kennels, my jacket that says "Nome, Alaska" on it (complete with an embroidered sled dog team), and my Buser Booster T-shirt, with a picture of Martin Buser and his dog team.

The next category was "Fashion Frugal." I'm all about frugal. I modeled an outfit that came about by accident. My daughter needed a 1920s dress for a melodrama, so we found a sleeveless dress at the Salvation Army, which I was planning on redoing into a dress that fit Monica. But after purchasing it, we decided on a different dress, which left me with a dress that I couldn't return, but one that I didn't feel comfortable wearing alone. About the same time, I was shopping at another one of my favorite stores, Goodwill, when I found a suit consisting of a jacket and slacks. The slacks were too big and needed to be altered, but the jacket fit perfectly. Then I discovered that the jacket matched the dress. I wore the outfit to a production at the performing arts center, where I ended up having dinner with the mayor at a special gathering beforehand. I was glad I had put together this professional outfit just in time for the event.

To see more photos of the event, click here.

Click here to return to the main blog page.

Weird/Fame/Most/Child

This is really fun! I made it up, so please pass it on and see if it becomes “viral” and spreads all over the internet. Plus I’d love to read your answers.

Copy this into the comment section and change my answers to yours. It will be fun to read what everyone says. Then send it out to all your friends. Enjoy!

WEIRD:
What is the weirdest thing in your purse or backpack? – Toe warmers, left over from my trip to Duluth.

What is the weirdest thing in your medicine cabinet? A tranquilizer prescribed to “Sally/feline” Yep, our dear late Sally turned into a monster at the vet, so we were supposed to give her this tranquilizer before the vet visit, but it didn’t help.

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? – Steak tar tar. Yep, that’s raw steak, and it had a raw egg on top. I didn’t realize what I was ordering and when it came, I was too embarrassed to admit that I thought I’d be getting cooked steak, so I ate it. I don’t know if it’s even legal to serve the stuff anymore.

What is the weirdest thing on your mp3 player (or what is the weirdest recording you have)? – A recording of a thunderstorm. I listen to it to relax.

What is the weirdest thing about you? – Everything, but probably that I like sled dog racing.

FAME:
Who is your most famous Facebook/MySpace or e-mail friend? – I guess it depends on who you are. If you’re a Nebraskan, then it’s probably Tom Osborne. If you’re an American Idol fan, then it’s probably either Andrew Cook (David Cook’s brother) or Chris Sligh. If you’re a sled dog fan, take your pick. I’ve got lots.

Who is the most famous person’s autograph that you have? -- Three famous sled dog mushers: Martin Buser, Jeff King, and Mitch Seavey. Now I just need Lance Mackey’s.

Who is the most famous person you have ever met? -- Stephen Lawhead, a writer. I actually was in his home when he lived in Lincoln and we talked about writing.

What is your most famous moment (your “15 minutes of fame”)? -- Our family made a radio drama, and the girls and I were interviewed on Focus on the Family weekend, a national radio program. (They also played part of the drama.)

MOST:
What is the most homeschool-y thing you’ve done (even if you’re not a homeschooler)? -- Rang a stranger’s doorbell and asked him what kind of trees he had in his yard. It turned out he worked at a nursery. The trees? Oakleaf mountainash and tricolor beech – very unusual trees indeed.

What is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done? White water rafting – I fell out of the raft and actually thought I was going to die.

CHILD
What is your earliest memory? I remember my mother rocking me to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep, so I just pretended to sleep, not to hurt her feelings. She put me to bed and I got out of bed right away, and she was surprised. I also remember playing with a paper circle and making it bounce up and down along the wall. Then it went behind the baseboard and I couldn’t get it out and I felt such a great sense of loss.

What was your favorite toy as a child? I remember something called “Silly Sand” where you could make castles and such out of this wet sand that was in some sort of machine. When I was a little older I loved my microscope.

Evert's New Model Railroading Blog

My husband has started a new blog about model railroading. Check it out here:

http://thebigemodelrr.blogspot.com/

Pleasure Driving

For my birthday this year, our friend Ben took the whole family pleasure driving with his Suffolk draft horse named Red Rock Surge.

It was one of those fall days when you wanted to stay outdoors forever, and the leaves were just starting to change in the park where we went riding. People stopped to observe this strange sight: an old-fashioned horse pulling a cart, which incidentally was designed by the Amish for agricultural use.

The Suffolk draft horses are bred for agriculture, Ben explained. They are smaller and shorter than other horses, and they "pull like crazy." Surge certainly seemed to enjoy pulling us as much as we enjoyed the ride.

Ben tries to go out driving as much as he can. He says it's relaxing to spend time outdoors and be by himself with nature.

It was fun to watch him interact with Surge and see how the horse responded to him. Because I'm a big fan of sled dog racing, I thought it was pretty cool to hear him use the familiar terms "Gee" (right) and "Haw" (left) that I've heard on Iditarod videos.

Afterwards, we waited at the stable, while Ben washed and fed Surge. Taking care of a horse is quite a responsibility. The wait gave me a good chance to chat with Ben's wife, RoJean, who has become a great friend.

And then? We all went out for good old Nebraska barbecue. A satisfying way to celebrate my birthday.

Pumpkin Carving Party

We recently went to a pumpking carving party. Carmen made a scene, with a sunrise and trees.

Monica made a Winnie the Pooh.

Of course, I had to make -- what else -- a dogsled. I won 2nd place in the "scene" category -- well, it was 2nd place out of 3 entries.

Evert won 2nd place in the "Silliest Face" category. Can you guess whose face this is? Clue: A famous person, vaguely related to dogsledding. If you have a guess, leave it in the comments section.

For more pictures from the party, see: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=53201&l=9cb14&id=629661480

The Sea of Red

No, not the Red Sea -- the Sea of Red. Everyone who lives in Nebraska knows what that is: the phenomenon of football fans and "Big Red Fever." I got to experience that last Saturday at the Nebraska-New Mexico State game. I hadn't been to a game since my college days, and it was fun to be a part of the action again.




After the first score, the fans let go hundreds of red balloons. It's really amazing to watch.

Nebraska fans are some of the most devoted fans in the country. I'm convinced that the noise we made was a factor in our defense. It was fun to be a part of that.





At the same time, Nebraska fans are known for their hospitality towards opposing fans. While on vacation a man from Oklahoma noticed my Nebraska hat and told me about the time he had attended a Nebraska game and had to use the restroom. He approached the long line of red-clad fans with apprehension. But someone noticed the colors he was wearing and shouted, "Here's an Oklahoma fan!."

"It was like the parting of the Red Sea," the Oklahoma fan said. "I've never seen anything like it."

Our new coach, Bo Pelini, has brought back much of the energy and excitement and Nebraska values. He also brought back Coach Ron Brown, who reinstituted the post-game prayer circle. He invites any interested football players, including those from the opposing team, to join him. As you can see, many of them knelt down as Coach Brown led in prayer.


For more Nebraska spirit, check out my videos of the band:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrC7BFL8pm8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n3kqxZ8f0M

You're never too old to be a fangirl

My mother (age 87) is a fan of Malley Keelan, a local Irish tenor. She loves watching the show he hosts on TV every Saturday night, and she loves listening to him sing. She even looked up information about him on the internet and found out all about his family. She printed out one of the songs he sings, so she could play it on the piano.

So when I heard he was going to be the featured soloist at an outdoor band concert, I asked if she wanted to go. "Oh, yes," she replied. We sat in the front row and enjoyed the concert. Afterwards my mother approached the stage with her walker. I strode on ahead and called out: "Malley, can you come meet my mother? She's a big fan of yours." (I remembered Malley from visits to his record store years ago, though I doubt he remembered me.)



He was a very gracious "star." He came over and gave her a big hug, then stood for a while and talked with her. I snapped the pictures, and then sent them to my brother, who added them to the photos in her Ceiva (digital picture frame). Imagine her surprise when the photos of her with Malley appeared the next day. She didn't even know I had taken them.

Now, if only it was that easy to meet David Cook . . .

Our first movie!

Well, it had to happen sometime. Our family (plus a couple of friends) made a movie. We call our production company "Celtic Mouthwash" and we have our first debut on YouTube. It's a "horror" movie filmed -- where else -- in a cornfield. To see "Cornelius and the Ethical Vegetarian," click on this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz9i5Uu3qBo

Oh, and make sure to watch the bloopers at the end. And be sure to take note of my classic line that has to do with a chicken pot pie, a line that one reviewer called a "cinematic classic" on par with, "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in the world, she walks into mine."

3rd of July Party!

The third of July is a much bigger holiday for us than the fourth of July. It started with the block parties in our old neighborhood. When we moved to our present house, we discovered that our dead-end street was a perfect place to blow up things, and so we decided to host a fireworks party on the third of July. It has taken on a life of its own, and our friends plan their holiday around it. This year we had a total of 47 people at our house! This photo shows the young women.

My pyromaniac husband had a "blast" (pun intended) shooting off things with the young men.

When I say everyone came, I mean EVERYONE! We even invited Kent, our favorite grocery clerk, AND HE CAME! He always makes my day when I ask him how he is and he replies: "Magnificently marvelous and elevating to higher plateaus of euphoria at warp speed."

Some of the guests were happy to stay inside, away from the noise and mosquitoes.

The young men set to work blowing up things, while the rest of us watched.

Carmen's melodrama

Here are a few pictures of Carmen's melodrama group. They did a great play called "Dirty Work in High Places." It had the classic heroine, villain, hero, and lots of fun characters, complete with audience participation (boo, hiss, cheer, etc.) The dramakids even did some fun songs (called "olios"). Carmen played "Madame Presidente," leader of an island called "Bananaland." You can recognize her by the fruit on her head -- and yes, that's a wig.



I've included just a few of the pictures, along with some of the great quotes from the melodrama. For more pictures, see http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=31968&id=629661480


"Dirty tricks. Dirty tricks. Each day of the week. We've got lots and lots and lots of tricks that really reek!"











"I am a fine musician."






"Why won't the men propose?"

"We won't propose."





















"Alas. My little Bananaland Republic needs help."

"Home Sweet Home."

Lambs

I have a friend whose last name is Lamb. Many of the decorations in her home go with her last name. Here are some pictures I took at her house today:

As if I needed something else to do . . .

If you're a child of the 70's, you may have tried macrame in your youth. Remember the wall hangings (mine was an owl), the hippie necklaces, the plant hangers? Macrame has practical uses too, like purse handles and belts. My purse handle broke last week, and I decided to try to macrame a new handle. I know it would have been easier to buy a new purse, but I thought I'd give it a try.

Here's a website with more info on macrame.

http://www.elainecraft.com/instructions/instructions.html

Fruit

Carmen's going to play the part of a tropical "Madame President" for a mellodrama, and this is part of her costume.